Caffine Thing
by kitrala
Summary: title has nothing to do with one-shot. just that i was on it while writing it. meh. some sasunaru, but nothing special. Sasuke stumbles upon Naruto's secret. blah blah. yeah.


Truthfully,

I don't know what this is.

Sasuke's pov. Set in the future..ish.. it's still the nice little Naruto world. I dunno. I was on a caffine pill coz i was at a lan party.. and.. my brain said "woah woah woah hey! Overdrive!" and i guess to keep myself from like..doing full body shivers of excess energy, i wrote this..really..really fast. I mean, seriously. I can barely read my handwriting.

News on my other forgotten story,Tricky: i had a nice little plot forming, and i actually finished writing it. But i hate it. So it's going through major plot reconstruction/plastic surgery and being re-written. I apologize. Not really. I needed a break from all them freakin plot-twists. You have no idea what i'm talking about, do you. Crap.

I have two other stories in the works, apart from this one. They keep getting in the way of tricky. So i'll pound them out first. Bleah. Anyway, here's uhh.. Caffine-Thing. Is it a one-shot? Probably. I really have no urge to add to it. There's no smut, really. Sorry. Guess this is going up at fanfiction dot net in the pg-13 kiddie section. (sigh). well, no. it'll go in R. coz of Sasuke's language. He needs soap.

half-assed disclaimer: yeah. i don't own any of it. yeah yeah. okay. done.

Caffine-Thing.

There's something about cold, enveloping liquid that I just enjoy heartily. This is the place I go to get away from everything. You're probably thinking, "He's so anti-social, what is there to get away FROM?" And to that, I say, fuck you. There's plenty to get away from. Civilization for one. If you can consider Konoha 'civilized.' Which you can't, if you also take into consideration that 45 of aforementioned 'Civilization' is composed of rabid females who I'd, personally, love putting restraining orders on, if you could do that to little girls ages eight and up, and if "I'm being stalked by every female in the village," was a valid enough reason to HAVE said restraining orders.

Back to the point. Cold, enveloping, liquid. This is my little lake. It's clear. There are autumn trees leaning lazily over the water, their branches skimming the surface. There are large, flat, boulders near the place I'm floating, looking warm already in the early morning sunlight. Here I don't feel the thousands of sets of feminine, mascara-caked eyes, staring at me. Maybe a few squirrels or something, but really, I'm not all that worried. Here, Itachi doesn't exist- my constant need to train and to have revenge is on pause. With that weight temporarily lifted, it almost feels as if my body is flying, overcompensating from the lack of pressure, somehow. It feels wonderful.

Here, I'm submerged in a substance that is so calm, yet can be so powerful. If the lake had any sort of ambition at all, it could swallow me up and drown me without a second thought. Without even trying. Yet I feel safest here, in the water. This is the only place I will acknowledge my having less power than something else. The only place I can and ever will accept this fact.

And it's strangely peaceful, being able to admit weakness, and be OKAY with that.

It's my little warp hole, where my troubles don't exist- including my insatiable need to be as extremely power-hungry as possible.

Naturally, the Bonehead ruins this for me.

There he was, in his shining bright orange glory. I hear myself hiss, which seems overly loud after the calm silence I was so peacefully ENJOYING.

I want to ask him someday. Just go up to him and demand to know if he actually **tries** to ruin my sanity on purpose, or if he's just an instrument of Satan. Or if he's Satan. It's like I can't escape! He won't let me be!

Brought me back from Orochimaru,  
kept me from leaving on my various and numerous Itatchi-Killing-Conquests,  
Mind-Fucks me out of killing HIM at any given moment,  
prevents me from enjoying any possible homicidal thoughts I have for Haruno,

And, I admit, it's all probably for my own good in some gigantic, disgustingly happy scheme of things. Takes it upon himself to force some sort of human emotion or shit into me, under the guise of 'Morals' or some 'Ninja Way.'

Whatever.

Doesn't change the fact that I am extremely irked. At just the **sight** of him. Because he had destroyed my last place of privacy and personal enjoyment with his annoying, blinding, sunny presence, and probably UNKNOWINGLY at that. That's what bugs the crap out of me. He can single-handedly wreak havoc and not even realize it.

Naturally, my small lake, with it's sun-warmed rocks and peaceful autumn trees, allowed this..this.. disturbance.

Of course.

Of course the "all-powerful" lake, the one thing in the entire universe that I acknowledge being stronger than myself, chose to be lovingly still/docile/completely lacking in blood-lust. Nope. Not forming into deadly tidal waves hell-bent on drowning the blonde like I so desperately wished for. Nope. Wouldn't dream of it! It was just a lake, after all.

God damnit. He even ruined my **perception** of the lake.  
That cunt.

Vainly and childishly believing I still had a chance or remaining there in the water undetected, I ducked lower into the lake as I smother my chakra, ironically realizing that I was now pretty much the average human being, with no chakra, at the mercy of the fucking lake. Would I die? Would the waters shoot up and around me, to suck me into the depths? NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO DO IT. Bloody stupid lake.

I realize at some point that my cheesy attempt at cover had actually worked, even fully knowing my black hair is a dead giveaway on the water's surface (unless the Dobe thinks I'm some really weird looking badger or something, which I wouldn't put past him). As it was, I'm relatively surprised that Naruto seemed oblivious to any and all his surroundings, including the top half of my floating head. In fact, he looked pretty preoccupied. As in, completely not like his normal self. He was standing at the edge of the water, eyes downcast (startlingly dark deep blue, which I had never seen, nor ever will again), and kind of.. dim.

Not like dim-stupid, but dim.. like. . a lightbulb. This is hard to explain.

Naruto, at this particular moment in time, can only be compared to a burned out candle.. really. An empty shadow of himself. Not quite dead- like that last burning ember inside a candle's wick. Faintly glowing, but ultimately in the process of dying out altogether.

That's what he looked like. Even though the sun was rising, and his orange pants (he had taken off his jacket and put it on the nearest boulder) and disturbingly blonde hair were reflecting light as effectively as a mirror. As bright as he looked, it didn't cover up the shadow that seem to overcome him.

Any irritation and self-pity I had from his trespassing had ebbed away in the water, carried by the ripples I'd been making by breathing just above the surface. I am faced with a new feeling. I call it 'Curiosity,' but my lower, reptilian brain knows better.

I watch as he sits down, tiredly, like some... **old guy**, some veteran shinobi who's seen too much horror in life. The complete opposite of the Naruto I know, who you couldn't beat down with a sledgehammer. I blinked. He was so.. subdued. Silent. Freaky. I didn't want to intrude on this weird little picture of solitude (god, that's ironic, isn't it.), I wanted to ..study this a little longer. Out of 'curiosity.'

His legs were stretched out in front of him, parallel to the water's edge. He was leaning forward a little, an arm draped over his thighs, as his free hand lazily moved in the water. His shaggy sunshine hair, it's brightness blinding but still, somehow, dull in this picture, fell into his eyes, hiding the strange Un-Naruto color they had become.

It must have been an alien. I almost convinced myself that the real Naruto was somewhere in space with some outer-world beings or shit, being anal-probed for all he's worth, and **this** was the malfunctioning replacement they'd left.

I was really intent on watching him, I noticed. Because some insect bite on the inside of my forearm itched under the water, and it brought me back to the present. What the hell was I doing? Why was I scratching oh-so-carefully under the water, as to not give myself away? What did I care if he saw me?

But then I had the crazy notion of checking out his chakra levels, and my brain forgot about my present situation, and said "ooh gimme!"

Slightly irked me, that I was so intent on watching Naruto's strange behavior that I actually let my guard down, and had to make an **effort** to reinstate my normal chakra levels to be able to sense his.

I let my guard down.  
I resent him for that.  
For being able to disarm me without even trying. I hope that won't be my undoing.  
Hurts my pride to admit that.  
In fact, pretend I never said it.

Anyway, Naruto's chakra is the subject now, not my potentially life-threatening weaknesses.

It was all **over** the place.  
In fact, his chakra signature was acting so akin to intense battle that I consciously put a hand to my kunai pouch. It confused me. He was just sitting there.. but the chakra.. I was so..

Weirded out.

I blinked rapidly, trying to figure out the illusion. A part of my ego-centric self took pride in how naturally those Sharingan appear, but that was stamped out rather quickly because what I saw..

Well. "Astonished" isn't really the word I'm looking for right now.

Blue and Red. I didn't think I've ever visibly seen chakra other than in the form of Chidori, or that time when that one kid drank that weird water and was all ... anyway to the point, my Sharingan was able to see this .. well I'm assuming "chakra."

It was pouring off him, circling him in powerful, surging waves. Deep red and insanely bright blue cascading from him, arcing over and around him like the molten fire of the sun. The red chakra was mainly on the outer fringes of Naruto's body, the blue kind of pulsing inside this red cocoon of fiery ribbon, every once in awhile exploding into another arc, slowly returning, only to be thrown off again.

It was so slow- the chakra pooling under him and orbiting him like liquid sadness, endlessly dancing. I've never seen chakra behave this way, like almost a semi-solid, and almost alive. Nothing like the random energy of the Chidori.

It was beautiful.

Beautiful and sad. An intense physical manifestation of raw emotion- a visible incarnation of depression..

It was Naruto.  
It was two, visible distinct chakras. And I was frozen in place.

Then, something changed. The dance stopped. Only red remained, a single ribbon of energy circling lazily around Naruto's midsection. Naruto sighed. I think it was the first noise I heard from him since his appearance. I almost shiver at the weirdness of that alone. He shifted, sitting cross-legged, and now facing the water's edge.

"What do you want," he said tiredly.

For a moment, I thought I had been discovered, and quickly went through various replies in my head. Should I be sarcastic? Should I be angry with him for intruding? Should I ask him what's wrong?

But, before I could say anything, a voice answered for me.  
Confused me a bit, because the voice came from Naruto's own mouth.

"Kit, look- I know you're.. upset."

"-What do you care," Naruto interrupted.. himself. Or .. I was extrememly confused. The blue chakra returned with his voice, pulsing with each syllable.

"I DON'T!" the voice said defensively, as I watched the red chakra jerk a little agitatedly in it's orbit.

Was I witnessing some weird.. split personality? No. Aliens. It HAD to be aliens.

"But, kit. I.. want the best. And what's best for my health directly correlates with yours-"

"Greedy bastard-"

"-YES," quick completed orbit. "Yes.. so.. I want what's best for you, you brat."

"hmf." Blue pulse.

"and this.. this weird.. feeling you have, it's no good for your health."

"nice try, Kyuubi."

My ears mentally perk up. What? Kyuubi? 'Nine-tails?' The red chakra appeared to bristle, if a ribbon of non-substance could bristle.

"Shut up, brat. I'm.. just. Sorry. That they treat you this way ... because of me." the voice was grumbling. The blue chakra grew considerably, and Naruto's face glared at the water.

"Since when do you care about what you do to others? Since when have you EVER cared for anyone besides yourself!"

My mind was still on the nine tails thing. Treat Naruto how because of him? Well, assuming it's a man. It's a man's voice anyhow. ..Kyuubi Kitsune was sealed..

"FUCK YOU. If you were a demon trapped in some.. MORALIZING, DO-GOODING, HUMAN... **BRAT**-" Fast circling orbit, big pulses.

"I am NOT a brat!" Constant blue glow.

"-then you'd probably get some anti-demon influences rubbed off on you after 19 years TOO!"

At this point, the red chakra had caught up to it's other end, making a complete, pulsing, sliver of a ring around Naruto. The blue had faded to a normal.. glow. I guess.

"Oh." Naruto said, quietly.

Silence. A blue planet with a red pulsing ring floating around it.

"Kit."

"WHAT" Naruto blurted, exasperated.

"Someone's here, kit."

And with that, the red chakra made an apologetic beeline (if you can imagine that) into Naruto's stomach, pulsed briefly, and faded away.

I blinked away the Sharingan. I realized then, that I had been walking/swimming towards him throughout the conversation. Drawn like a bug to a lightbulb. I was standing in the water, now. It's surface rippling around my shins. He didn't look at me. That bothered me somewhere, deep in that reptilian brain. I restrained the urge to move the hair out of his eyes, something I might have done if things were different. If I weren't me.

"How long have you been listening?" he said, tiredly. Haunted, almost.

I chose not to answer that and head straight on in to the conversation that really mattered.

Kyuubi. The Demon Fox was in Naruto. Why I never thought of it, makes me feel like a dumbass. Of course he looks like the Fourth. Of course his birthday is the same day as the celebration festival. Today. Of course.

Of course that's why I'm here, avoiding the festival,  
Of course that's why he's here, avoiding the actual people.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

And why did I need to ask. Why couldn't I realize it on my own, and not by accident. Why was I so stupid. Why has he been able to hide something so obvious from ME?

He sighed. It was an old man sigh.

"The reason I never told anyone was because at first, I didn't even know. And then when I DID know, it wouldn't have changed anything anyway. They hated me to begin with."

He looked tired. Old. Even his very skin lacked something. He looked completely alien with a blank expression on his face. No stupid grin, no laughing eyes, not even a look of determination.

"That's not what I asked." I said as I stood directly in front of him, my shadow blocking out the sun, completing the blown-out-candle effect as his bright hair faded into a dull yellow-gray in the morning light.

He didn't say anything.

"Why didn't you tell _me_, dobe." I said, quietly. The nickname slipping.

"_I didn't want to lose a friend._"

I almost didn't hear it.

And then, right in front of me, Naruto cried. Sobbed angrily. His body shook with anger and cries. He pounded his knees as he spoke. His hair waved wildly.

He told me. He said he hated it. Hated it. How long he's lived with it. Playing dumb, living with the constant glares from everyone. EVERYONE. How he lived with it. MADE IT THIS FAR! Only to lose the only important thing he had ever had. Why did I have to hear Kyuubi? Was it Neji's "fate" that he was always rambling on about? Why did I have to hear Kyuubi? Why did he have to lose it all now?

I kneeled. My knees protested at the combination of sand and pebbles at the water's edge. Naruto was crying. In front of **me**.

Every secret I've ever wanted to know. Every question I've wanted to ask, was here, for the taking. And he was giving it. Handing all the answers over on a salty silver platter of tears. His facade was gone, walls were down, and, unknowingly (as was his way), were peeling down mine. And I did what I would have done if I wasn't Myself. I did reach across and brush his hair from his eyes, now damp with tears. I even swiped a watery trail with my thumb, catching on the scars on his face.

"Why did you have to hear, Sasuke?"

I looked at him questioningly, as if saying What the Fuck are you Talking About, but his eyes were closed.

"I tried, so **hard** Sasuke!-" he gritted through his teeth. He was shaking.

"Naruto-"

"I tried! And I made it! I WEAR the vest! I DO the missions! And I am so close to my dream but now.."

His eyes slid open. They were so dark. Dark blue shimmering wetly, angrily, regretfully.

Quietly now, he said, "-now.. it doesn't matter anymore, does it."

I couldn't look him in the eyes. It hurt. My gaze fumbled to his Jounin vest.

"What are you talking about, moron. Just because I know, now? What difference does it make?"

"_I'm going to lose you._"

My eyes shifted to his face. What? Me? Am I going to be murdered or something? Are those aliens going to come back for him and take me instead? What the fuck was he talking about?

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

His hand went to my wrist, which was still connected to my hand, which was still resting on his cheek.

"Sas-kaay" he gritted out, whimpering angrily, like I'm forcing him to tell me something that I should already, obviously, know.

"Don't leave, Sasuke.. please. ..don't.." He was hold on to my wrist for dear life. Looking at me apologetically, like he did something wrong. Like I was going to hate him for something he did.

I wasn't GOING anywhere!

"Naruto, why would I..."

Something replayed in my head.

_"They hated me to begin with."  
_"_It wouldn't have changed anything anyway."_

..he didn't tell anyone.. because they hated him for the Kyuubi to begin with already..  
To loose the only important thing he had ever had..

"_I didn't want to lose a friend"  
_"_I'm going to lose you!"_

oh.

No amount of blood-line limits,  
No amount of reconnaissance,  
No amount of any type of shinobi training whatsoever,

Could have prepared me for what I had just realized.

I scrambled a few feet backwards until I was standing upright in the water.  
I must have looked ridiculous.

"I'm important to you?"

He just stared at me. Half sorrowful, Half like he was looking at an idiot.  
He was.

I didn't let that deter me.

"But.. just because.. you have some.. some.."

"Demon Fox." He supplied.. a little bit of his joking self returning, but with a grimace.

"WHATEVER. I'd never..."

He looked at me, confused. The sun in his face, since I wasn't blocking it with my shadow. His hair glowed.

I exploded.

"YOU REALLY ARE A BONE-HEAD!"

He blinked. I blinked. I started to pace, a hard feat in shin-deep liquid, splashing up water ridiculously like some horse with a temper tantrum.

"Why would you THINK something like that!" Splash-splash.

"We are friends! Though it's not really a typical **normal** relationship, but Jesus! You have a demon in you. SO WHAT!" Splash-splash-splash.

"I have Orochimaru's curse seal! The mark of the man who _murdered_ Sarutobi!" Splash-whoosh-shlup.

"We are the same! There is no difference!" Splash.

"Why the hell would I leave? What the hell would stop you from driving me insane? Some demon fox? HA!" Splash-Splash.

"You drive me nuts, Naruto! But I keep coming back for it! I am your friend! No fucking fox is gonna stop me! GAHHH!" Whoosh.

I suppose I could have been more dramatic. I could have started pulling at my hair. I was tempted.

I found myself standing in my sanctuary, chest heaving for air, limbs tingling in frustration, anger, love, and some other emotion I cant name. Some desperate feeling- wishing I had the power or vocabulary or.. even a fucking **pie chart**, ANYTHING to help Naruto understand that he couldn't get rid of me no matter how far to hell he drove me. Nothing he could do with his annoying, loudmouthed, idiotic, nerve grating, prank-pulling, obnoxious, sexually frustrating, sunFUCKINGshiny self, that could ever,

ever  
make me leave him.

Fuckin drives me up the wall that he even thought I'd give a shit if he harbored a demon.  
He could harbor the friggen black plague it wouldn't change the fact that I really wanted to kiss him.

Also fuckin drives me up the wall that I had been fooling myself this whole time. "No I don't like him like that. That's retarded." Ha. Yeah. Sure. The moment I find out that my being in his life actually MEANS something to him, yeah. Poof. Instant loving dedication.

I'm such a cunt.

After realizing I wanted to be more than friends,  
And after realizing I probably just said more in that rant that I usually say in the span of three years,  
He just SITS there. Wide eyed. Shivering.

I didn't bother kneeling this time. That was a pain in my ass. I was irritated, I was extremely happy, and I was soaking wet. I hauled him up, so he was standing in front of me in his glorious shortness.

And I said "Fuck them."  
My way of saying "I'm sorry they treat you like shit."

The 'them' I was referring to were the villagers. And everyone else in the world that hated him for what he wasn't, instead of hating him for what he is: better than them.

I didn't know if he wanted it, I sure as hell knew I wanted it, and I dimly wondered if the Kyuubi would suddenly strike me down with a god-like lightningbolt of chakra. Yet, my second kiss with Naruto was as equally, if not more so, surprising as my first. And luckily, my making an ass of myself paid off.

Because Naruto kissed me back.


End file.
